Grey fiddled with his cup of peppermint mocha latte as he sat at a table-for-one in Starbucks. Christ. Grey had not seen nor heard from Morgan for two days. He figured he’d had about as much ass as he was going to get from Morgan, and he might as well be satisfied he’d even gotten that. No more kissing, fucking… sleeping with Morgan… sweet, sexy, strong Morgan. All because Grey wouldn’t bend over and give up his own ass.
Damn it. Grey’s cock pressed against his jeans as he thought about being naked in bed with Morgan. His length pushed against his zipper where he sat, protesting the prospect of renewed celibacy. Worst of all, his ass throbbed a steady aching staccato as a fast vision of Morgan penetrating him and stuffing him with exquisite slow tenderness, filled Grey’s head. Grey gasped as his heart rate increased and his erection grew, shocking him with the intensity of his physical response while in a public place.
Grey scanned the coffee shop and prayed like hell no one noticed his bulge. with his attention subtly touching on nearly everyone — none of who paid him a damn bit of attention — Grey started to breathe a sigh of relief. then his gaze clashed with a brown one that stared right at him, no blinking or backing off when Grey caught him in the act.
what the fuck?
From one table away, the blond man continued to stare, and the feral dog inside Grey stirred to life, putting an immediate cock-block to his hard-on. His erection no longer an issue, Grey grabbed his cup of coffee and moved to the other man’s table. “Mind if I join you?” Grey asked, but didn’t wait to get an answer before sitting down. He put his cup on the table and wrapped his hands around it, letting the warmth of the liquid inside seep into his palms. Not that he needed it. Grey tended to get damned hot under the collar when another alpha dog tried to hold down and piss on his fur. Grey felt like this man sitting across from him attempted to do just that with one cold unwavering look.
Grey settled into the cushion of the booth seat and bared his teeth. He doubted the guy mistook it for a smile. “You got a problem with me, friend?”
“Not right now,” the man answered. His deep voice scratched like sandpaper,, and he didn’t look like he so much as twitched under Grey’s cool delivery. “Just looking you over, though, and trying to figure out if I will soon.”
Grudging respect for this man’s balls had Grey retracting his fangs. “That seems unlikely,” he studied the guy’s roughly handsome face, searching for familiarity, “seeing as I don’t know who the hell you are.”
“Noah. Noah Patel.” Noah did not reach across the table for a handshake.
Noah Patel. Noah Patel. Noah. Noah. Oh. This is Noah. “Noah Patel.” Grey maintained a sense of ease in how he sat , but he couldn’t help but think about his immediate response when Morgan had mentioned the man’s name two days ago. Right here, Grey’s skin got all hot under the surface as it had back then. Grey breathed, and kept the evidence of his reaction at bay. “You are Morgan’s plumber.”
“I’m not just his plumber. I know how to do one or two other things” Noah sat quietly across from Grey with quiet authority, and Grey instantly knew in his gut that Noah was a financial success in his business. this man was nobody’s bitch. “But yes,” Noah added, “I worked for Morgan recently.”
Grey’s gut hit him on another level — a personal one — and jealousy grew in his belly. He glanced down at Noah’s hand and noticed a wedding band on his finger. Even with that, Grey wondered if Morgan know that Noah was into men. And if he didn’t, but discovered it, would Morgan’s interest in this man exceed home repair?
You cant have him sat right in Grey’s throat, choking him with its ferocity. Not now, not ever! A buzzing clouded Grey’s hearing, and Noah blurred before Grey’s eyes, his vision now covered in a film of red.
No.. Get control of yourself man. Don’t you dare let this guy see you lose your cool. You are a possessive person; anger is a natural reaction to seeing someone else crush on the man you’re fucking. you don’t like to share. it doesn’t mean you care.
Grey muzzled the monologue looping in his head, locked in his inner dog in another room, and affected a mildly interested arched brow. “What is it exactly you think you know that has you so concerned, Noah?
“I don’t know anything.” Noah answered. “Just saw something that allowed me to draw a conclusion on my own.”
Has he been watching my house? oh shit, does he know anything about my life. After a brief bout of worry, Grey half smiled at the thought of Noah knowing Morgan was his. Then he remembered why he hadn’t seen Morgan in the last two days and did a 360 back to being angry again “That’s not much to go on to make a snap judgement about a man.”
No, sitting here watching you.” Noah sliced panic through Grey with his never-ending assessing stare, “I think I figured the situation out exactly right.”
Right then, Grey dipped his head and made to get off the chair before he punched the son of a bitch in front of him unconscious, but a strong hand wrapped around his wrist and locked him to the table. Grey’s attention slid down to the fingers holding his arm in a bruising vice. He blinked and brought his focus back up to Noah’s face. “You’re going to want to take your hand off me.” His tone dripped colder than ice. “Right now.”
Noah released Grey’s wrist. “I apologise,” he said, but again, looked Grey right in the eyes without cowering. “Let me just say this one thing before you go.” The colour in Noah’s eyes softened, even as his hand turned to a fist on the table. “Morgan is a nice man. Allot of people in the area care about him and do not want to see him hurt. If you are a good man and you think there is even the possibility that you’re going to cause him pain, maybe you need to think about walking away right now.”
Grey fought down an unnatural wave of violence, and just resisted hauling this pretender to his feet and shoving him into the wall. “And give you room to step in?” Grey hissed, keeping his voice low, out of a respect he wasn’t sure this man deserved.
Noah flinched, and his pupils flared. “I didn’t say that.”
“No,” Grey bit down and took some of the rancour out of his tone, “but you’re thinking it.”
“Just don’t hurt him. think about what I said.” Noah voice and face quietly threatening.
The dog within Grey slipped out and, in the blink of an eye morphed into a wolf. “I’ll think about your fucking motives too,” he said, “his voice cutting through the tension in the air. He blinked, and everything slipped right back to cool. “You have a good night.”
Grey walked away with grace but on the inside, Grey saw the snarling teeth of a big black-as-midnight beast shredding to pieces a golden haired wolf.
To the victor went the prize
In the dead of night, Grey banged on Morgan’s door, a little porch light illuminating where he stood. He went home after his showdown with Noah. He’d tried to wipe the conversation with Noah from his mind, but he kept hearing the words “don’t hurt him” in his mind . More than that, Grey couldn’t shake the absolute caring in that damn warning, as well as a very real concern that he had the power to hurt Morgan.
Grey had spent the better part of the evening telling himself that not seeing Morgan these past two days was for the best. Grey had even crawled into bed and tossed and turned for at least two hours, surrounded by the scent of the very man in question embedded into the sheets and comforter, torturing Grey with how fucking big the bed was without an even bigger man sharing it. Then, Grey had rolled over and turned toward the window, and his attention snagged on Morgan’s navy blue T-Shirt. He found himself out of bed, the t-shirt in hand, and he found pounding at Morgan’s front door before he even processed that he’d pushed back the covers and gotten up. He didn’t know why he was here now, or what he wanted to say, what he should do, or if he should mention his conversation with Noah.
The door swung open, stealing any attempt Grey had to throw together a plan. Morgan stood in the pen doorway, a soft light behind him casting him in near shadows. He wore nothing but a pair of white briefs.
“Its late.” Morgan appeared scruffy and rough, but he didn’t look any sleepier than Grey did. “What do you want?”
“I cant do this. you’ve been avoiding me and I’m about to lose my mind. I needed to see you. Please let me in. Christ, Grey wanted this man “please Morgan.” Grey crushed his mouth on Morgan in a raw, open-mouthed kiss.
Oh God, he’s so stunningly beautiful.
Morgan couldn’t stamp down that destructive thought about Grey, just a split second before the man grabbed him and took his mouth with a deep wildly aggressive kiss.
wanting to resist, knowing for his own protection that he should, Morgan melted on the please from Grey and sank right into his burning hot frame, letting Grey’s body heat shield him from the gust of bitter cold wind. Morgan knew he would probably never get a commitment from a man like Grey, but the fact that he had said that one word in such a gruttal way shattered every protest Morgan knew he should speak. It stopped his hands from pushing Grey and slammed a lid on every valid reason Morgan had mentally listed as to why he should never sleep with Grey again. That damn please reached deep inside Morgan and latched on to an aching need to know more, and it had him throwing himself into the kiss, groaning as Grey ate at his mouth.
Eventually, Grey broke the kiss and came up for air. “Invite me inside.” He angled Morgan’s head and stole another kiss, tangling tongues between gasps for air.
Don’t. Don’t weaken and give him all the power. Oh God, I shouldn’t. I shouldn’t… Morgan looked at Grey, taking in every inch of his face in one fast second, and swore he saw agonized longing living in every stark line. “Yes.” Ignoring every warning bell of common sense, Morgan dragged Grey over the threshold into his home, shutting the door behind them.
“Thank you.” Raw need edged Grey’s voice as his palms grazed Morgan’s abdomen with tormenting brushes of contact. “Thank you.” Grey scraped his mouth across Morgan’s, teasing the seam with darting licks from the tip of the tongue.
Grey broke the kiss and said “I’m sorry about last time.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” Morgan asked. After what felt like an eternity of silence, Grey finally said, “I do.”
Morgan closed his eyes, and breathed. Finally. “Tell me.”
You don’t want to tell Morgan about Cartier, you idiot! why did you say that? Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
It had to be a moment of weakness, of feeling a temporary sense of closeness to this man. This is what Grey got for showing up on Morgan’s doorstep in the middle of the night, pushing something he should have just let end when Morgan walked away two nights ago.
“I understand if you have changed your mind.” Morgan broke the tense silence. The rumble of his words vibrated through Grey and made him tremble. “I’m going to bed.”
Shit. Unable to look Morgan in the eyes after displaying such extreme cowardice, Grey asked “Do you want me to leave?”
“Stay or go, do whatever you want.” Morgan answered, his tone short and hard. “All I know is I’m getting cleaned up and going to bed. I don’t have any control over what you do.”
Grey’s spine stiffened and his gaze shot up immediately. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” There was no response. Walking closer to Morgan who stood beside the full length mirror in the living room, Grey growled “Arrogant son of a bit…”
Crash! Grey screeched to a halt mid-step, right outside the bathroom door, his voice stolen as he watched Morgan punch his fist into the mirror he stood beside. Grey gasped at the power behind the curled hand flying at the mirror. Morgan spun around the mirror and came face to face with Grey.
As Grey stood before the man, he was unable to deny Morgan’s glorious near-nudity. Grey had also never believed himself so close to someone capable of doing real violence; even though he knew Morgan would never really harm him.
“Goddamnit,” Morgan growled, “why do you always see me when I don’t want you to?” His lips, so kissable just a short time ago, flattened to a thin, hard line. he looked down at his bleeding hands and the shattered glass all over the floor. Damn it “I thought for sure you’d turn the other way and run.”
Although transfixed a minute ago, Grey’s blood raced through his body and through to his legs. He walked angrily towards Morgan, grabbed him by his bleeding palms, and dragged him down the hall towards the bathroom. “If that’s what you wanted, then you should have told me!” He pushed the door all the way open and stormed inside, dragging Morgan right up to the sink. Jesus, he could feel Morgan trying to control his breathing and his anger, but Grey didn’t give a damn about Morgan’s mood right now. “You invited me inside. you told me I could stay!
“You know,” Morgan began softly, “I genuinely thought I could have an amazing, guilt free sex, and not give a rat’s ass about who you are as a person. Other people do it, and you are so damned-good-looking you have to know I wanted you like hell from the moment I saw you. I’ve since discovered that I can’t. I need to know more than the name, occupation and length of the cock of the man I’m letting fuck me. I need to know how a man as smart as you are — and I can see in your eyes you are damned shrewd and intelligent — I need to know how you can trust me, a virtual stranger, at my word when I tell you that I am clean and its safe for us to have unprotected sex. Yet with that same sharp brain and thought process of yours, you are completely certain that its not safe to tell me even one little thing about your life beyond your sister and work. I really don’t’.”
“You trusted me about my health too.” His voice remained steady, and he didn’t blink or flinch, even as his heart rate sped out of control. “What does that say about you?”
Morgan yanked his hands out of Grey’s hold, bit off a low curse, and slapped his hand against the edge of the sink, drawing more blood from his bruised palms. “That is not my point, and you’re damned smart enough to know it isn’t; so don’t fake ignorance with me. If you don’t want to answer me, that’s fine, but don’t insult my intelligence by pretending you don’t understand what I’m trying to say. Excuse me,” he pushed past Grey and headed out the bathroom door, “I’ve had enough mind games for one night.”
Grey whipped his hand out and held Morgan by his shoulder, stopping him dead in his tracks. His nostrils flared and his mouth turned dry, but Grey could see in every tightly strung muscle in Morgan’s body that the man would not listen to one more word of bullshit.
Fine! I’ll tell you. Can I at least tend to your wounds?” Reluctantly, Morgan looked at his bleeding palms and remembered how good it felt to have Grey touch it before he yanked them out of Grey’s hold; and decided it would be better to have Grey tend to his wounds, even if it was to have direct contact with him again. He walked over to Grey and surrendered his palms to him.
Grey took Morgan’s palms and started tending to his wounds. don’t do it. “His name was Cartier.” Grey blurted before the voice in his head reminded him to shut up. “He was the first guy I dated for long enough and felt strongly enough about to want to go all the way and actually have sex with him. I thought I wanted it; Christ I was prepared to love it, but it turned out to be the most painful, invasive, violating thing I have ever experienced in my life. Grey mind drifted to the singular event that changed his life forever.
Grey closed his eyes and stuck his face into his Cartier’s pillow, all the while mentally chanting to himself, you like men, you want this; just do it; its part of what you do when you are with a guy. Grey breathed, and logically reminded himself that he’d accepted Cartier’s finger okay, and even got a little hard with it. His shaft wouldn’t be all that different.
Then why was his heart racing so fast? why was his chest squeezing so hard he thought he would either throw up or pass out? why did he want to get off this bed and swear ht would never spread himself for another man ever again?
Found one”, Cartier voice broke through Grey’s frantic thoughts, and it seemed like only a second later, the bed dipped under his weight. “I knew I had a box in the bathroom.”
Cartier crawled between Grey’s legs, and the hair on his legs scraped against Grey’s inner thighs, racheting Grey’s uncertainty up about a thousand notches. A tearing sound ricocheted in Grey’s ears and he knew Cartier had opened the condom packet and sheathed his cock in the layer of latex. A few seconds later, Cartier’s weight covered Grey and something pushed at his entrance, and, oh shit, Cartier pushed more lube into his hole with a finger.
Grey winced at the pulling on his ring. Cartier smacked Grey’s butt with his other hand and muttered, “Damn, you have a nice ass.” He withdrew his finger and something bigger replaced it, and immediately applied pressure. “Cant wait to fuck it.”
Before the next frisson of second thoughts could ripple all the way down Grey’s spine, Cartier took Grey’s hips in a tight grip, yanked him almost off his knees, and knifed his dick all the way into Grey’s ass in one jamming thrust, engulfing Grey in fiery pain and stealing the breath from his body. Grey could barely swallow through the blinding hot discomfort of Cartier’s first lancing of his channel, but he bit his lip till it tasted of blood and let Cartier go at him, allowing Cartier to saw his length in and out of Grey’s virgin ass with increasingly rough strokes.
Grey crouched on the bed an his hands and knees, taking it up the ass in a way he always imagined he would love, and willed himself not to cry out and show weakness in front of this other boy. He would make up an excuse in a week or so and they would break up, bit no one would ever know it was because Grey discovered that he could not do this again. He would never roll over and give someone the power to cause him pain, not even temporarily, not even to fuck.
Especially not to fuck.
Oh, Christ. Grey choked as Cartier pulled all the way out, sending Grey’s ass in a strange series of spasms and clenching. then, Cartier forced Grey’s passage all the way open, as he pushed his dick back in again. It fucking hurts so badly, Grey thought. Grey didn’t dare beg Cartier to stop, but damn it… he sucked the blood from his cut lip… he knew it would be better if Cartier would just slow down a little but and let Grey’s body adjust…
Grey could still feel the fire from that day burning his hole. “It hurt so damn much that I thought I would have to go to the ER afterward and make sure nothing was damaged. The idea of going to a hospital was even more humiliating than the act itself.” Grey grimaced, remembering the days he locked himself up in his apartment praying like hell that his backside would feel normal again so that no one — not even a complete stranger in a hospital — would have to know what happened with Cartier. Grey couldn’t take his stare off tending to Morgan’s wounds. “The thing is,” he want on, “Cartier wasn’t even that big. Maybe even a little smaller than average. If I couldn’t take it with him, I knew I wouldn’t be able to take it with any man.” Grey couldn’t help his focus lifting briefly to Morgan’s boxers which revealed the length of his thick shaft. He shrugged and continued “I decided at that point I was meant to be a top. I’ve been one ever since.”
Morgan continued to lean against the sink like they were talking about what to have for dinner. “What did Cartier say when he wanted to fuck you again and you said no?”
“He never got the chance. I stopped seeing him shortly after that. I couldn’t keep seeing him.” Grey explained, his voice full of rationale. “He was definitely a top, and it was pretty evident I would always be the one on the receiving end of sex. When I realized I couldn’t, it became obvious we would never work.” Having finished dressing the wounds, Grey said “all done.”
“Thanks.” Morgan wasn’t done with the questions yet though. “And he never came after you? He asked incredulously. “He never called you or banged on your door asking for an explanation or a second chance, or demanded to know about your abrupt change of heart?”
“No.” Grey shook his head. “Cartier just accepted me at my word and moved on.”
Morgan looked at Grey and said categorically “then you were better off without him,” his voice striking. “For any guy I cared about enough to have sex with , I would have ripped down his door and dogged his ass until I got an explanation that made sense to me as to why he was leaving. Especially, knowing it was his first time.”
“Cartier didn’t know.” Grey’s skin crawled at the very idea of giving another person the kind of ego boost and power a confession such as that would have engendered. ” I never told him. He just knew it was my first time with him.”
sighing, Morgan said “He should have known to be gentle anyway but you should have told him.”
“No. Absolutely not.” Grey shuddered. The scrutiny of Morgan’s gaze in this moment ate at Grey almost as strongly as he imagined it would have if Cartier had known about his virginity all those years ago. Although fully clothed, Grey rubbed at his neck and felt very naked all of a sudden. “Can we not just stand here looking at each other like this?”
Morgan shifted nervously within himself; and although he smiled reassuringly at Grey, he knew he had to be careful not to scare him off. “Well I know I should clean up the mess I made with the mirror but I’m beat. Lets go to bed. I’ll clean it up in the morning”
Gawd, Grey liked the sound of that. He paused while Morgan flicked off the bathroom light, and let him grip his hand in a tight hold, letting the bigger man lead him down the dark hallway. Once they reached Morgan’s bedroom, Morgan gently removed all of Grey’s clothes , save his boxers, and held him tight. “If you need to shout, scream, or curse to let go of the hurt that son-of-a-bitch caused you, do it to me. I can take it. I know you need to let it out but only when you are good and ready” Morgan finished.
Unable to hold himself, Grey buried his head into the recessed of Morgan’s chest and finally let the unshed tears flow. He just lay there and wept for hours…
…and Morgan held him all night and let him.
When he was sure Grey was asleep, Morgan heaved an anxious sigh. Grey had told him his darkest secret…the bane of his existence because he thought he knew all of Morgan’s. He was wrong. Morgan felt guilty knowing now what he knew about Grey when Grey didn’t know one very vital thing about his life. In that moment, Morgan knew that had to change. In the morning, Grey would know his darkest secret. He silently prayed that it would not send Grey running as far away from him as humanly possible.
…To be Continued!
Soundtrack for Given to Grey: NAKED… CHASING CARS by Snow Patrol